Not Irrelevant and Boring

Apparently the sight of a clock ticking away my lunch time does not make me a prolific blogger. It's rather more difficult to try to come up with coherent, thematically organized ideas when I'm sitting here at the keyboard than it is when I am just wandering around in my own brain. Perhaps it would be better if I simply posed a question, since after all I have to be back at the strenous task of phone operation in a mere five minutes. All right, let's see... this relates to something that's obsessing me lately, and I'll tell you more about that later. (Wow... it's weird how as soon as I write "you" I feel more comfortable, more as though my thoughts have grounding... but that was last post's topic, wasn't it?) My question, then: Why do we feel compelled to judge feelings and states of mind as more or less real after we have had them? I think you know what I mean... you're in love, perhaps, and then a year or so later you decide that could not have been actual love. Or you get mad, furiously, blind-with-rage kind of mad, and in a day or so you dismiss that feeling; something must have been wrong with you, hormonally out of balance or whatever. But other feelings of the past we cherish as involiable fact. I adored my babysitter; I was devasted by the death of a loved one. I wonder if this judgement is simply based on what is acceptable to your current self-image. It's a bit disturbing, and the kind of thing I tend to get bogged down in whenver I'm feeling uncomfortable with anything I'm feeling. Do you think this is something that matters, or is it just a way to avoid reacting as immediately to things as I might, were I not so concerned with the reality/validity of what I was feeling? I know that when I do react impulsively it always feels good at the time, but may be followed by intense guilt if the results are not so good.

Perhaps I should call this blog, Tell Me I'm Not Crazy After All Please, and That You're Like Me but Not So Like That I Am Irrelevant or Boring.

Perhaps everybody should.

(But not really really everybody... that would be too generic.)

;)