1) Those governmental schmucks! They have decided that all books that should be writtern are written. They only way to write anything new is to rewrite old books with new twist. The characters must stay in character and you can't really change genres. That being said, what classic book would you rewrite?
Do you have any idea how hard this was for me? First, I thought of classic novels that I love too much to fuck around with... for example, what am I going to do? Have Gene and Phinny hooking up in a Separate Peace? Get Hester Prynne and Rev. Dimmesdale back together? Perish the thought! Most masterpieces should be left the hell alone, thank you very much. But then I started thinking about books I didn't like... for example, the Mayor of Casterbridge. I disliked it so much, in fact, that I remember hardly anything about it... except some crap about a birdcage that I think I wrote an essay on. So obviously rewriting works I don't like will only cause frustration and mediocre investment. What is this hapless, governmentally hampered authoress to do? Other than publish original works on the literary black market, which I assume you anticipated. But then, I started thinking outside the box. And I realized I would quite like to rewrite something like Ovid's Metamorphoses, with all those weird and tantalizing tales that could be done really nicely in a modern or at least slightly altered context... and of course I would like to rewrite the Morte D'Arthur, as people do all the time... and now I have realized what my calling must be in this new writerly environment. Clearly, I will rewrite the Bible! It will stay an epic, and I'll even keep each of the books in their genres: poetry, history, epistles, etc. As for the character development, you'll have to trust me on this one. Also, expect lots of exciting and wonderful twists. This should be ready for reading... hmmm... maybe around your 43rd birthday.
2) It was decided, although new books cannot be written, new plays can be, except you can only use character traits from specifically assigned characters. In your case, it's all the characters you have ever played. How would you combine their traits to make a new exciting character? You don't have to use all of them but you need at least 3. Bonus points for more than 3.
First, I am trying to make a list of every character I have ever played, though I'm sure I am missing some.
Bunny (via a puppet, in a fable about the cheese-stealing fox, Kindergarten, primary trait: desired cheese)
Solo Caroler (in A Christmas Carol at Onondaga Central High School, 1st grade, primary trait: liked to sing about Christmas)
Really Rosie (in Really Rosie at Rockwell Elementary School, 2nd grade, primary traits: showy, charasmatic, an excellent story teller)
A Box or Bowl of Oatmeal (in Really Rosie at Rockwell Elementary School, 2nd grade, primary traits: warm and thick)
Dolly (in Onions in the Stew at Onondaga Central High School, 3rd grade, primary traits: fought with her brother, loved her doll, was quite loud. I remember that the first Gulf War started during this play, while we were getting ready in the Home Ec. room. Also how old the high schoolers seemed)
Cinderella (in Cinderella, 4th or 5th grade, primary trait: knew how to waltz)
Bunny (via a mask, in The Magic Flute,sometime in elementary school... this was just for a little scene or rehearsal or something, but it's one of the only times I missed my cue to go on. I was sad. But the mask was beautiful. Primary trait: concern that Papageno see Papagena.)
Leslie something-or-other (in a play written by my acting teacher, Val, sometime in elementary school, primary trait: loved chamomile tea. Also had a "communicating conscience" which spoke to her.)
Danielle the Dandelion Fairy (in a play about Wanderlust Wonderful Forest, also by Val, also sometime in elementary school, primary trait: struggled with an addiction to the soporific juice or dust or something found in the dandelion)
Mary (in a monologue done in the same acting class, sometime in elementary school, primary trait: was irritated by her perpetually following lamb. I had this stuffed lamb that I dressed up in a little sweater and cap and gave it a lunch box and everything... it was kind of fantastic)
Evilena (or something like that... one of three witches in another play about the Wanderlust Wonderful Forest, a musical actually. By Val and this other woman Muriel, who wrote the songs. I found out later that Muriel wrote this "head witch" part for me, and was mad when Val switched it around on her. Primary traits: evil and witchy)
Dentist on Vacation (at Pyramid Lake, a camp families from my church went to, as part of our first skit, which I wrote... sometime in elementary school. Primary trait: obsessed with fixing teeth.)
Jan (in selections from Grease at Onondaga Community College's Broadway in Syracuse class, part of their College for Kids program, sometime in elementary school, primary trait: loved to eat)
Billy (in selections from Anything Goes at Onondaga Community College's Broadway in Syracuse class, part of their College for Kids program, feminized just for me, sometime in elementary school, primary trait: thought that friendship was the perfect blendship)
Princess (in The King and I at Salt City Playhouse, 5th grade, primary traits: sweet, liked to give surprises, fun)
Molly (in Annie at Henniger High School, 6th grade, primary traits: orphaned, small, a bit mischievious, said "Oh my goodness" constantly)
Marcie (in You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown at Onondaga Hill Middle School, 6th grade, primary traits: smart, bookish, loyal, odd, confused about the gender of others)
Red Bus Driver (in The Red Bus at Pyramid Lake, sometime in middle school I think, primary trait: frustrated with her passengers)
Princess (in The King and I at Henniger High School, 7th grade (I think), primary traits: a more generic princess than the last; I don't really recall...)
Sharon (in Let's Rock at Onondaga Hill Middle School, 8th grade, officially the Stupidest Play Ever, primary trait: angry that her boyfriend would not wear socks to the sock-hop.)
Anne Frank (in a monologue, for our Off-Broadway Showcase after the Beginnings Acting Workshop... I still remember the room we waited in to go on. I was so nervous. Primary trait: Hope and faith in human beings despite very bad circumstances.)
Cookie Cusack (in Rumors at Westhill High School, 9th grade, primary trait: Crazy Old Lady, of course. The first of many)
Reporter #3/Adult (in Bye Bye Birdie at Westhill High School, 9th grade, primary traits: nosy, and worried about the state of modern youth).
Random Disciple (in Godspell at Westhill High School, 10th grade, primary trait: sincerity, as I recall Spado saying that he needed someone sincere to do such and such a line, and then he picked me. Doesn't make him any less of a sleazy favoritist, though.)
Coriolanus (for the Shakespeare Competition at Westhill High School, 10th grade, primary trait: pissed off and aristocratic. My first foray into the world of male Shakespearean roles... I mistakenly assumed it would be my one chance to play the boys. And I won 2nd place.)
Belinda Cratchit (in A Christmas Carol at Westhill High School, 11th grade, primary trait: Got picked up and carried offstage by the most desired boy in the school. I didn't especially desire him, but how I loved the idea of making all those girls jealous. Also, speaking of sleazy favoritism...)
The Yellow Brick Road (in The Wiz at Westhill High School, 11th grade, primary trait: Encouraged people in song to ease on down me.)
Richard III (for the Shakespeare Competition at Westhill High School, 11th grade, primary traits: terrified and haunted. And I won 2nd place.)
Bernice Roth (in The Musical Comedy Murders of 1940 at Westhill High School, 12th grade, primary traits: drunk, nervous, inspired... another Crazy Old Lady.)
Mrs. Evangeline Harcourt (in Anything Goes at Westhill High School, 12th grade, primary traits: Social climber, wants MONEY, loves her dog, her jewels, and her daughter... probably in that order, irritating squeaky voice. Crazy Old Lady.)
Cleopatra (for the Shakespeare Competition at Westhill High School, 12th grade, primary traits: loved Antony. I memorized it immediately before doing it... and I did not win at all. Clearly I should stick with the boys. And actually memorize my parts.)
Jack's Mom (in Into the Woods at Bryn Mawr College, freshman year, primary traits: Worried about money, loves her son, practical, brave. Crazy Old Lady... the end of an era.)
The Voice (in Sonnets at Bryn Mawr College, freshman year, primary traits: Sang. And did not get laid.)
Lynnette ( in Anything for You at Bryn Mawr College, sophomore year, primary traits: desperate to have an affair. With her best friend, Gail. Who is secretly in love with her.)
Bill, maybe? (in All in the Timing at Bryn Mawr College, sophomore year, primary trait: his timing was off.)
Feste (in Twelfth Night at Bryn Mawr College, sophomore year, primary traits: clever and cunning and perceptive and funny and liked to sing and destroy plantlife with his friends)
Antipholus of Syracuse (in Comedy of Errors at Bryn Mawr College, junior year, primary traits: confused and generally honorable and desirous to avoid Satan.)
Wife and Cain (in Love's Fire at Bryn Mawr College, senior year, primary traits (of Wife): furious and heartbroken and wanting to undo things, including her blouse... (of Cain): yelling and killing.
Borachio (in Much Ado About Nothing at Bryn Mawr College, senior year, primary traits: crafty and coarse and lusty... but not really a bad guy for all that)
V (in Production Values with Uncut Pages, summer after senior year, primary traits: wonders what the fuck you are doing on her stage!)
Professor Dilexi (in Professor Dilexi Presents Dramatis Personae of the Apocryphal Menagerie, last summer, primary traits: sees the map, the pattern, the choices, incredibly sadistic, lonely and creepy, eschews physical contact)
Phew! I'm sure I missed something, but there they are. Now, to make a new character...
Brenda Susan Carl Richard Rodney Brian Beryl Orville Devon Caroline Britney Louise David Dominick Franchesca Melvin Edgar Daniel Veronica Jackie Bertram Pollyanna Mork Martin Rivka Bobby Delores Petra Sally Algernon Florence Carter Connie Rasputin Albert Rosalie Dirk Calvin Bonnie Cedric Yusef Brigid Reba Ronald Betsy Roman Evelyn Hector Collin Jim Moses Veronica Libby Beatrice Fabian Allison Oscar Severus Walter Cristina Bertha Victor Patsy Digglesworth: A lonely hermaphroditic orphan who becomes addicted to sleeping pills after his/her brother dies tragically (this tragic death occuring after they have fought over a doll, which young Brenda Susan Carl etc. had been examining in order to figure out the mystery of her/his own genitalia. S/he naturally feels confused about the doll, and also the gender of other people in general, but has become convinced that if she can figure out the doll, this confusion will be relieved, and therefore is willing to fight her brother for it. Unfortunately, the brother falls down the stairs while tugging on the doll, and breaks his neck). S/he screams "Undo this!" when she finds that nothing can be done to save him and tears off her shirt. In a mad fit of guilt and confusion, the heartbroken Brenda Susan Carl etc. takes to running around with a bad crowd (when s/he isn't sleeping) and this group of people encourages her/him to destroy plantlife. S/he becomes known as "The Cornfield Monster," but the police are not able to discover his/her identity for some time. During this interval s/he begins to hallucinate as a result of overdoing the sleeping pills, and for awhile is convinced that a lamb is following her everywhere she goes. As yet another side effect of her/his addiction, Brenda Sue Carl etc. begins to crave cheese excessively, eventually yelling at people to give up their cheese. S/he jumps up on the stage at his/her high school and is carried off by the most popular, desired boy in school, making him even more popular and desired. Because s/he has become so loud and ostentatious, s/he is captured by the police. Because they cannot classify his/her gender, they do not know which prison to send him/her to, and therefore opt for house arrest. It is worth noting that her/his growth has been stunted by all the sleeping pills (called "Essence of Dandelion" in genteel circles), and therefore s/he is quite small. In severe withdrawal from Essence of Dandelion, Brenda Sue Carl etc. develops a fixation on chamomile tea, and refuses to drink anything else. During this withdrawal stage, s/he begins to experience visions of her/his brother, which leave her shaken and terrified. In a desperate attempt to connect with somebody, s/he signs up for a prisoner letter exchange program with a woman named Gail, who quickly becomes Brenda Sue Carl etc.'s best and only friend. Brenda Sue Carl etc. is quite sincere with Gail, experiencing a genuine love for another human being for the first time since her brother's death. S/he begins to fantasize about sleeping with Gail, and is overjoyed with Gail confesses her love for Brenda Sue Carl etc. However, when s/he reveals that s/he is a hermphrodite, the letters abruptly stop. While still hoping that Gail will write back, Brenda Sue Carl etc. distracts herself by watching a video version of The Magic Flute, and channels his/her romantic and sexual frustrations into an obsessive, nervous concern over whether Papageno will in fact see Papagena. After some time, Brenda Sue Carl etc. writes another, more plaintive letter to Gail, and Gail replies that she is not comfortable ever communicating with Brenda Sue Carl again. Brenda Sue Carl etc. is completely devastated, and also decides that s/he will never get laid. Around this time, Brenda Sue Carl etc.'s sentence is up, and s/he is released into the world. Overwhelmed, s/he goes to a bar and gets drunk. While under the influence, s/he is inspired to sing, and the other patrons of the bar notice that her/his voice is quite mellifluous, the perfect blend of male and female sound. Thus, Brenda Sue Carl etc. embarks on a singing career. At first, s/he sings mostly Christmas carols and selections from The Magic Flute, but eventually s/he realizes that her/his voice can be used as a tool of seduction, and begins to encourage people to "ease on down his/her road," and see what they find. S/he develops a charasmatic and showy stage persona, telling wonderful stories in song. To Brenda Sue Carl etc.'s delight, s/he realizes there are some circles in which what she considered a sexual deformity is actually an exciting advantage! S/he embarks on a new life full of music and lust, though she is plagued by financial problems, and worries about money a good deal. At last, s/he finds a sugar daddy named Antony, a middle-aged, social-climbing playboy who thinks he has seen all the world has to offer. Antony is enamored of Brenda Sue Carl etc. because in his/her very flesh s/he proves this maxim false. He takes care of Brenda Sue Carl, showering her/him with jewels and gifts in exchange for sexual pleasure and experimentation. At first, Brenda Sue Carl etc. remains very practical in this relationship, liking the money and the relative luxury, and living the life of an aristocrat. S/he buys a little dog and lavishes her/his affections on the animal, carefully avoiding any human entanglements beyond the merely physical. Antony decides to teach him/her to waltz, and when Brenda Sue Carl etc. says s/he doesn't know whether to lead or follow, Antony whispers, "I don't care as long as you are in my arms." It is in that moment that Brenda Sue Carl etc. realizes s/he is in love with Antony, even more deeply than s/he was with Gail, since this of course is a much more real and reciprocal relationship. Brenda Sue Carl etc. begins to blossom in this relationship. She starts to enjoy eating, and finds that she is gaining a bit of weight and growing warm and perceptive and funny and clever and sweet, at least in her private interactions with Antony. Antony and Brenda Sue Carl etc. build a life together full of music and sex and dancing, and their most serious quarrel occurs when the fastidious Antony insists on wearing his shoes to a sock hop they attend together. Other than that, life is finally good for the hapless Brenda Sue Carl etc. S/he is faithful to Antony for almost ten years, and eventually they adopt two children together, a boy, Carl Antony, and a girl, Sue Brenda, and they both love them very much.. One day, Carl Antony brings home a friend, who happens to catch a glimpse of Brenda Sue Carl in the nude. The friend finds her/him creepy, and spreads rumors about her all over the upper class community they live in. Antony is humiliated, and finds the social and business prestige he is accustomed to enjoying trickling away from him. Bravely, Brenda Sue Carl etc. volunteers to come out as a generally honorable hermaphrodite in front of the entire community, and proclaim her deep love and loyalty to Antony and her family, but Antony is horrified and begs her not to do that. Though his embarrassment hurts her, Brenda Sue Carl etc. develops a crafty, cunning plan to discredit the gossipy child. She finds an old contact and procures some Essence of Dandelion, and, when Carl Antony has several friends over for his birthday party, takes the opportunity to plant it rather conspicuously in the boy's belongings. The boy is caught and discredited, but the police investigation leads back to Brenda Sue Carl etc.'s shady past. When interviewed by the police, Antony panics and claims that Brenda Sue Carl etc. seduced him without first revealing that s/he was a hermaphrodite, and has been blackmailing him with this secret for years. When Brenda Sue Carl etc. asks him why he has betrayed her/him in this way, Antony only says, "You have the most horrible timing to be outed as a hermaphrodite, muffin. I'm up for membership in the Amazing Antelope Club this year." While the police do not believe Antony's story, and in fact give Brenda Sue Carl etc. only a minor fine for dealing with the Essence of Dandelion again, Brenda Sue Carl etc. is furious and completely destroyed by this allegation, and turns to witchcraft and black magic to regain some sense of personal power, dabbling in the forces of evil. S/he stays with Antony, but becomes embroiled in a series of increasingly risky and sadistic affairs, toturing his/her lovers physically and emotionally to punish by proxy the man s/he still adores. One night, drunk on evil power and wine and the aftermath of heavily sadistic sex, Brenda Sue Carl etc. accidentally conjures up a demon, who possesses her, and prompts her to kill and eat her little dog. This is the wake up call that Brenda Sue Carl etc. so desperately needs. Traumatized, s/he begins to avoid Satan and, terrified that she will spiral back into sadism, eschews all physical contact for some time. S/he leaves Antony and starts driving a bus for a living, putting up with the annoying customers and eventually moving into a small house and, discovering a long latent skill at academics, trains to become a dentist. For awhile, Brenda Sue Carl etc. channels her/his anxieties, guilt, and memories into a constant obsession with fixing teeth, and this, combined with his/her natural intelligence, enables him/her to graduate quickly, at the head of his/her class. S/he opens a dental practice and begins to work. Though s/he becomes adept at normal, nosy gossip, and wonders with the best of them about "kids today," etc., s/he still never touches anyone unless s/he is fixing their teeth, even in a casual, friendly way. Every day s/he strives to be more generic and forgettable than s/he was the day before. Also, in an effort to pass for female and avoid further humiliation, s/he begins to speak in an irritating, squeaky voice. S/he is extremely reticent with her/his language, and never says anything stronger than "Oh my goodness," because she truly does not wish to attract Satan's attention anymore. This causes people to think that s/he is in fact a Crazy Old Lady, and not a hermaphrodite, but neither of these traits helps to create a comfortable social environment for Brenda Sue Carl etc., and s/he grows slowly more and more depressed. One night, after watching The Magic Flute six times and crying her/himself to sleep, Brenda Sue Carl etc. wakes with a sudden, strong craving for chamomile tea. S/he goes to the kitchen to find some, and is immediately confronted by a vision of her brother! "Brenda Sue Carl etc.," the vision says, "I am your communicating conscience. I have taken the form of your dead brother because you loved him so much, and he would want you to be happy. You are not to blame for the terrible things that have happened in your life. Please touch people again. Please have lots of good, mutually loving sex. You should also join an acting troupe." Puzzled but full of joy at this message, Brenda Sue Carl etc. joins a community theater group, and finds that her/his old love of performing returns almost at once. S/he tentatively begins to make friends, confessing her/his identity almost as a challenge to them, and, after her/his first show, is even inspired to hug some of them. Suddenly, Brenda Sue Carl etc. realizes that friendship really is the perfect blendship, and invests her/himself more fully in these new relationships. Her/his personality is recovered, and s/he gains a reputation for being fun, mischeivious and full of surprises both at work in the dental office and on the stage. One night, during a performace of "The Littlest Christmas Angel," Brenda Sue Carl etc. catches a glimpse of Carl Antony and Sue Brenda in the audience, and for a moment is paralyzed with shock and joy, then tries to perform her/his best for them. After curtain call, s/he hopes that they will come up to speak with her, but instead Antony himself jumps out from a shadowy corner where he has been hiding and leaps onto the stage. "My darling Brenda Sue Carl etc.!" he exclaims. "I have been so wrong! Please, come back to me." Brenda Sue Carl etc. promptly screams, "What the fuck are you doing on my stage?" breaking the last of her mental enslavement to Antony, and eventually s/he is given visitation rights with the children. Finally, in a dream come true, Brenda Sue Carl etc. is cast in The Magic Flute, as Papageno. The identity of Papagena remains mysterious, however, until the final week of rehearsals. The director will only say that a very special singer is preparing the role out of town, and will come and join them at the last minute. When Brenda Sue Carl etc. finally meets Papagena, she is introduced as Gail Williamson, and Brenda Sue Carl etc. nearly faints. It is, in fact, her/his penpal from so long ago! In that moment, the map, the patterns, and the choices that have shaped Brenda Sue Carl etc.'s life come into perfect clarity. Gail explains that she realized her mistake several months after rejecting Brenda Sue Carl etc., and wanted to tell him/her that s/he was not such a bad guy after all, but because of restrictions on giving out the addresses of former prisoners, she had been unable to find him/her for all these years. They end up singing in perfect harmony, both on and off the stage, and Brenda Sue Carl etc. becomes an inspirational speaker, telling groups of students and office workers how her faith in humanity was restored after a life of trial.
There. I better get a hell of a lot of points for that! May I just point out in my favor that I did not write any of the second part until I had made my entire list, with whatever traits came to mind?
3) If you could only say one word during a conversation, what would it be?
Well, if it was a conversation where I wanted to keep things non-commital, it would be "interesting."
If I wanted to make things actually interesting, but didn't mind if it ended abruptly, it would be "no."
But if I really could just pick one without any qualifiers... "Why?"
4) You have been chosen to be on a Billboard but only one of your features will be shown. Luckily you get to pick it. What is it?
What I have learned from considering this question is that many, many perfectly attractive features become somewhat creepy or lifeless when displayed all on their own. Therefore, I think I would have to pick my eyes. Because eyes may be disconcerting all on their own, but at least they are eyes. To clarify, for example: I think my smile is very nice. But when I put it on a billboard all by itself, I think it's a little weird. I keep looking for the eyes, to see how it all fits together. If you can see my eyes, it may be odd because they will seem to be enormous and staring, but you will have a sense of life that is direct and real and certainly more pleasant than an enormous hand or pair of boobs. (To give you a hint about what I consider attractive on myself when taken more in context.) For some reason, though, when I first though about this question I imagined my nose, which is ok but not my favorite feature. I don't really know why. To close, I think my eyes are very expressive and interesting and a lovely dark color, although I confess they are not as fascinating to waitresses as the eyes of some other people I could name...
5) You have to eat one food at least once a day for the rest of your life. Which one will it be?
Ice cream. If I must be more specific, Breyer's mint chocolate chip. But ice cream is the obvious choice. I think only once in my life ever have I felt that I had too much ice cream. I was really full, I guess, and it was a big bowl. Ooh, I want ice cream from Spain right now. Avellana Americana (hazelnut). Wow, I am having a yummy flashback. We used to have ice cream almost every day. I would get it at the Cafe de Indias when I went to use the internet, or we would meet at any one of a number of little ice cream shops. It was so good! I remember when some people set up an "ice cream budget" of how much money they were allowed to spend on ice cream. I didn't bother to do such a thrifty thing. Ice cream is necessary in a foreign, hot land. Also, if one walks for several hours everyday, one does not gain weight, even if one is eating ice cream all the time! I had the most wonderful lifestyle ever in Spain. And I love ice cream a lot. The end.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Numerology Strikes Again
This is for my full name:
Expression: 11
The Expression number shows us who we truly are, what we came into this life already knowing. This is where we feel most comfortable and how we automatically act. We attract people and situations to us that require our Expression so that they can further evolve. In this way we play the role of teacher. Naturally we are attracted to occupations that we resonate to, so the Expression number can be a strong factor in our choice of a career as well. Our Expression is the vehicle, with all its virtues and vices, that drives us along the path of our Destiny. It is the essence of our identity.
You are endowed with a high vibrational energy that may be expressed through inspirational, teaching, preaching, acting, art or invention. You have access to prophetic wisdom and your positive attitude is a transformational force in other people's lives. Fame and notoriety is very likely at some point in your life, as your kind of energy gets noticed! Much will be required of you in life when you have a master number vibration, because much will be given.
Soul Urge: 9
The Soul Urge number has also been called Heart's Desire and Spiritual Urge. It is our secret, innermost longing. Our dream, our motivation, the fuel that energizes our journey. The Soul Urge number reveals what we secretly strive to be or accomplish. Some have said that this number tells us what we have been in previous lifetimes, the accumulated growth of our soul.
Like the number 6 soul urge, your life revolves around giving and receiving love. Your desire, however, includes the whole of humanity and a few races besides. Compassion, passion and forgiveness make up your essence and you are very generous and impressionable. The fine arts call out to you and you may in fact have a master artist living inside of you.
Persona: 2
The Persona number describes the way we appear to the outside world, the first impression people have of us. We may not even be aware of how we are perceived by others because we are so often focused on our inner world, and many times the inner does not match the outer. Persona gives us a peek at some hidden talents we have. The talents that we use to get along in the world and in some instances, protect us from it. It is likened to a bag of tools (jewels) that we carry with us along the way.
You have a very neat, composed appearance to the outside world. Peaceful and unobtrusive, you are the one people go to for companionship and harmony. You seem to have a quiet, non-judgmental wisdom which attracts those needing advise and an objective point of view. Your ability to see both sides of a situation makes you appear indecisive.
Natal Analysis: April 20, 1982
Personal Year: 4
Organization, practicality, analysis, and productivity, are the words that describe this time. Now is when the creative drive of the passing 3 vibration needs to be harnessed and directed. Systematic efforts and honest, hard work are sure to pay off if you use this vibration wisely. The number 4 symbolizes Earth and the four directions. It is time to focus on Earthly matters, save for the future, and build a foundation for what is to come. Health of the body, mind, emotions, and spirit is another practical and important undertaking during this time.
Personal Month: 6
This is the month for harmony. Give loving advise when it's asked for. Re-decorate the family room. Go house shopping. Volunteer to help the needy. Feed a stray animal.
Personal Day: 9
Clean house. Go on a one day juice fast. Take someone dear to the zoo and have eye contact with the gorillas. See the interconnectedness of all things. Be grateful. Wear any color that makes you feel good.
Destiny: 8
The Destiny number describes the life lessons that we have come here to learn. It reveals to us the path we must take, and the role we must play to fulfill our mission. Often our choice of career is based on this vibration, and if not, then it will manifest through avocational pursuits. We may attract people and experiences into our lives that mirror the traits of this number for us, so that we may develop into our highest potential. We don't always welcome our life lessons, so it is a possibility that we may even feel an aversion to the characteristics of our Destiny number in other people, and we may ourselves act the opposite. In spite of the many ways we may choose to react to this force within us, we have been gifted with all of the talents and energy needed to fulfill our Destiny.
You will be given many opportunities in life to learn how to wisely use power, authority and money. Whether you're the head of a great corporation a great family or a great team, your discipline, persistence, courage and strength is sure to bring you success. You have a philanthropic nature and you will learn in life that true power is in sharing this success. Sports is an area requiring the kind of strength, determination and endurance that an 8 destiny gives you, as is the business world.
Cycles
The destiny is divided into 3 great cycles, each governing us for specific durations throughout our life. The Seed cycle begins at birth and colors our experiences through childhood and adolescence. During the year nearest our 28th birthday, we move into the Fruit cycle which remains throughout the middle part of our life until the year nearest our 56th birthday, and the Harvest cycle carries on from there. Taken all together, the cycles show us our particular path that will lead to the fulfillment of our destiny.
Seed: 4
When the 4 is the seed cycle, there may be some sort of learning difficulty, dyslexia or lack of application. Sometimes there is a stubbornness that sets in because of the 4 energy pressuring the child into routine, order and responsibility. Fours are usually required to begin working for a living at an early age, even if only to earn their allowance.
Fruit: 2
Cooperation, adaptability and diplomacy shape the experience during the 2 cycle. It is a time to collect knowledge and to be of service to others, becoming sensitive to their feelings and learning patience. It is a waiting period, gestation. Psychic development is likely.
Harvest: 2
"Togetherness" is the theme of this cycle. They are rarely alone, and social invitations abound. Two harvest people are usually collectors of something; stamps, dishes, cars, figurines, postcards from their travels...
Pinnacles
The four pinnacles reveal the high spots or heights of attainment that we are likely to encounter as we move along the path of our life. The 1st pinnacle lasts from birth to around age 28. The 2nd pinnacle lasts for 9 years after that. the 3rd pinnacle lasts 9 more years, and the 4th pinnacle carries on through the rest of our life. The peak of the pinnacle is reached during the next 1 personal year. Pinnacles are like sudden inheritances from a benevolent aunt, they can transform the prevailing energies completely and suddenly. It is useful to look ahead and prepare for our pinnacles so that we can maximize their gifts to us and shape them into the most positive manifestation.
First Pinnacle: 6
A time for giving, nurturing and taking responsibility for others. The 6 pinnacle brings in domestic vibrations and a marriage may begin or improve during this time.
Second Pinnacle: 4
Literal building of a home is a possibility as is the building of a family, a business or even a solid spiritual connection, if the creative energies are focused in that direction.
Third Pinnacle: 1
A new phase of life is emerging and it is the time to lay down the foundation. To shape and mold a new vision, the ideal vision of your creation, your life.
Fourth Pinnacle: 6
Children and animals flock to your nurturing energy now. Surround yourself with beauty and harmony and loving companions. Your wise advise is a benefit to all.
Challenges
The three challenges show us the major influences demanding our attention during specific sections of our lifetime. The 1st challenge influences the years from birth to age 28. The 2nd challenge takes over from age 28 to 52, and the third affects us our whole life. Challenges shape our attitudes and can affect our health. These vibrations that challenge us, cause either an exaggeration of the associated qualities or a lack of them, both of which are extremes which need to be brought into balance.
First Challenge: 2
A child with this challenge is very sensitive. There are many tears shed and extreme shyness is likely. They develop an intricate system by which they ensure the appropriate amount of attention from others. Through giving and intuiting other people's needs and filling them, but also by "nit-picking" and pursuing endless cycles of discussion about petty annoyances and imperfections. Two's are very intuitive and empathic, and when they are confidant and expressive they can be powerful healers.
Second Challenge: 0
0 challenge holders are either the one's who give every last bit of all they are given to those who "need it more" i.e. anybody, or they feel so deprived of their essential needs that they refuse to give at all. They sometimes feel an inner panic at the thought of growing older which leads them to do whatever it takes to feel young. This may lead them to marry a much older person or a much younger one, or it may manifest in a child-like "fairy tale" outlook and behavior. Inside, they know that they are very wise and when they are fearless, they can bring powerful messages of hope to the world.
Third Challenge: 2
The challenge of the "thin-skinned". These challenge holders take everything personally and can easily turn tiny little mole-hills into you know whats. They can seem to become translucent, absorbing each new idea and each new person into themselves, becoming them in the process. The 2 is the number of the psychic, however, the challenge is to maintain one's own identity while accepting the powerful, empathic abilities of the 2. The main focus of the 2 challenge holder is themselves, their feelings, their wants, their lack of satisfaction. Their outer behavior is geared to keeping the peace and taking care of others while secretly hoping they will be taken care of in return. The remedy for this challenge is to become an equal partner in relationships. To realize that their ideas and opinions are valid and to stop flattering love out of people.
Color Me...
Your Life Colors
You scored mainly in the Sky-Fire quadrant. This 'yellow' quadrant highlights the fire sign of your personality and your tendency to blaze across the sky like a comet, taking new ideas and concepts and trying to push them into action. You may well have a vivid imagination and enjoy constantly dreaming up new things to do. Because of your fire sign, you will probably push some of these ideas into action before you and others are ready. You may well be a persuasive person when discussing issues you passionately believe in. In these situations, many people may well be influenced by your apparent confidence.
People who map into this quadrant like to connect the future to the present. Your mind may constantly be exploring possibilities concerning where you are going and what you might do with your life. However, there are times when you could become over-enthusiastic and make decisions before you have fully thought about the ramifications. If anything, your mind might be focused on too many ideas at once. This may result in fewer successes, mainly because of your desire to get into action before you have completely done your homework.
For you there are unlikely to be too many problems. Of all the signs, yours describes someone who can turn a problem into an opportunity. Failure is unlikely to disturb you too much as you have a knack of being able to rebound from adversity.
Monday, November 28, 2005
30 Fictional (or semi-fictional) Folks.
Apparently I've become obsessed. But these are all from stories, books, or other not so flesh and blood sources, so maybe it will be fun to think about?
| Name 25 random people you know (NO ORDER!) | |
| what is an inside joke with #7?: | Doublemint gum? Not exactly a joke, but inside. |
| what about #22?: | I don't really know her all that well. |
| would you go out with #12?: | HA HA! I wanted to in high school. Lots. Even though it's temporally impossible and he's a murderous sex fiend. Or maybe that was why I wanted to. |
| whats one word that describes #5: | Amnesiac. |
| would #4 look good with #25?: | Maybe, but #4 is real uptight and #25 is married, and on second thought... they probably wouldn't look that good together anyway. |
| would u go out with #19?: | Not really, but we are kindred spirits. |
| when is #11's birthday?: | I don't know. Perhaps in the spring. Or the fall. |
| would you make out with #28?: | No, I don't think that would work out well at all. |
| are #3 and #29 BEST friends?: | Not in the slightest. #3 has enough to deal with without bringing in #29, and it would only confirm #3's conviction that maybe he is going to hell. Guilt by association, #29 |
| have you ever liked #21?: | No, but I wrote about him in a sexually aware manner, lord help me. |
| have you ever liked #13: | And how! High school again. Again impossible. Again murderous. Again sex fiend. And very beautiful. |
| have you ever liked #6?: | No, in any case there could be even less result of it if I did than with any of the others... literally any of them... but nonetheless he currently fascinates me. |
| can you tell #17 anything?: | I think I could. He has a history that enables him to be understanding. |
| how mucuh do you love #4?: | Not a whole lot... maybe that's why he never got very nuanced when I wrote about him. |
| how do you know #20?: | John Irving wrote this book... |
| would you make out with #30?: | It's not on the top of my list, nor do I think his, but neither is it a totally repellent idea. |
| how'd you meet #18?: | Through Kirstin. |
| what word comes to your mind when you hear #23's name?: | Bravery! And a tail. |
| have you ever had a crush on #27?: | No, not really the right age group. |
| what about #2?: | No, and anyway she's married. |
| do you think #10 is hot?: | Yes, especially with #11. |
| whats one word that describes #15?: | Gentle, officially. Also... let's say a bit flighty. |
| what do you think #9 will be when he/she grows up?: | A priest. |
| give me one random fact about #16.: | He killed a wolf. |
| and #8.: | He was in love with a rock star once. |
| and what about #1?: | He was never in love with a rock star. And doesn't like personal questions. |
| ...and #26?: | He's locked in the basement without Peter Smith-Kingsley. |
| what song does #14 relate to?: | Hard to say! Maybe "Into the Woods." :) Or "All in All." |
| what movie could #24 be in?: | Dragonheart. Only not really. |
| what famous person does/should #7 meet?: | Maybe Tim O'Brien. Or any one of a number of poets. |
| what do you think of #10?: | I think he's incredibly fun and spontaneous, and must come from the one part of me that doesn't overthink everything. |
| would you make out with #1?: | I don't think that would accomplish anything, or that he would let me. |
| what about #17?: | Ok, this is probably totally wrong, but yeah, assuming we were in the same age range and it was an ok situation. |
| whats an inside joke with #11?: | Sort of the whole car accident when he met #10 thing. |
| what about #12?: | We don't really have inside jokes... but I did finally get "Turn Around, Bright Eyes" because of him. Also, I used to imagine that he was in my time and I had to explain cars |
| and #13?: | Despite his attractiveness, I'm not 100% sure he'd like my jokes. Maybe something about his flamboyant and numerous love affairs at the hands of his creator(ess) |
| have you ever liked #8?: | I like him a lot, but not that way. He has other vows and desires. |
| what about #20?: | I sort of love him. But that's how it is with him, I think. |
| would #29 make a good couple with #16?: | Certainly NOT. #16 would probably put him to the sword, or something. |
| what about #23 and #5?: | No, but it's really funny because #5 had the nickname Mouse (it's not from Tales of the City, btw), and #23, well, is a mouse. |
| whats a random fact about #6?: | He's been castrated. |
| what about #21: | He's been scarred. Famously. |
| and...#18?: | She's been killed. But not in a permanent way. |
| how'd you meet #28?: | Through Rachel. |
| have you ever gone out with #9?: | No, he's faithful to his promises. |
| what about #30?: | No, he's unable and uninterested in the likes of me. |
| ever had a crush on #5?: | No, in fact she baffles me a little. |
| or #25?: | Not really, I leave that to #7. |
| has #4 ever liked you?: | I don't think he would, no, he's still obsessed with #5, at least a little. |
| what about #19?: | I would be proud if she liked me, at least as a friend. I always imagined we'd be such good friends. |
| one word about #27.: | Sprightly. |
| do you knwo anyone who likes #24?: | Maybe Jill Pole? |
| is #3 your friend? why?: | He might be my friend, but I think at the moment he's awfully preoccupied with his own worries. And dancing takes up a lot of his time. |
| where do you see #26 in 20 years?: | SUCH a question. I wish I could say, with a good lover. But instead... in prison, dead, or else fabulously weathy and successful. |
| what about #22?: | I really don't know. Hopefully a little more stable... and not lonely. |
| would you make out with #2?: | I doubt it highly. |
| have you ever made out with #14?: | No, certainly not. |
| what # can you most see youself with?: | Um, for real? Maybe #17 or #24. |
| What # should #11 go out with next?: | #10. Certainly. |
| Take this survey | Find more surveys You've been totally Bzoink*d | |
Five Questions From Alex
Alex, your questions are fascinating, but rather hard! I have done my best:
1. Name one skill or talent you always wish you had developed more fully or pursued. What do you think kept you from following this path?
Well... it's hard to say, really, because there aren't a lot of talents I'm aware of that I haven't pursued at all. I would say singing, since it's been a couple of years since I really sang with any official regularity, though I hope to get back into that again soon. It's funny, because I do notice the lack of singing, but it's something other people point out to me more. Like at Thanksgiving, Skip (my mom's friend's husband) told me he had always imagined me pursuing a musical career, and then my dad asked, "What about your music, your singing?" as we were talking about various developments and pursuits in my life. I think I also wish I had time/space/inclination at the time to have studied more history in college. I still really like history but I feel that my education in it has been completely cut off. I think that in terms of the singing, I was never certain that I loved it enough to pursue it to the exclusion of other activities, and in college it became hard to be as pluralistic as I had been in high school. Now, I am nervous that I will not find a group that I am trained enough for, or that I will have to sight read or do something scary... but mostly I hope that soon I find a good singing group and the time to do it. In terms of history, it was simply a matter of where my coursework led me at the time. One thing I sort of hate about higher education is that you get more and more specialized the higher you go, so in some ways you learn less.
2. [ Alright, this isn't particularly creative, but it's a question I tend to ask people] Would you rather wake up one morning and find yourself deaf or blind? Why?
This is quite difficult, but I think deaf. Simply because I think it would be harder to navigate the world without my vision, and also because I couldn't read without it, and whatever misfortune befell me, I'm sure that reading would help me cope with it. Also, (sorry, this is trite), while God forbid I should ever have to use it exclusively, I have become rather enamored of finger-spelling as of late.
3. You've found yourself suddenly transported to a space ship where you are confronted by a group of aliens who have just decided that Earth must go. You are given the chance to give them, show them, or tell them about 3 things to try to convince them to do otherwise-- what do you choose?
This is the hardest one, and I've saved it for last. So hard, Alex! But a really great question.
1. The most colorful, fragrant, interesting flowers I can find.
2. I would show them a baby, and (assuming this terrible task gives me a certain omniscience) tell them the entire history of the baby's ancestry and all the people who have in some way gone into creating this baby, good and bad and indifferent, and also the complete mystery of the baby's future life.
3. I would tell the story of a war or other horrible event, with all the good and evil wrapped up together like lovers... the terrible acts and the selfless ones... I don't think it would be fair to not be honest, and I would like to think this would in truth be a strong argument to let us continue trying.
4. I know I don't get a fourth, but I really want to sing a song. Maybe I could make one of my stories an opera? Or wrap a lullaby into the baby thing?
Wow, this is making me so nervous. I hope my choices could save the world....
4. You get to spend a week in any fictional place (it can be from any source--tv/movie/books/comics/myths/etc) where do you choose and why? [if you feel so inclined you can get into what you would do there/who you would want to meet and so on)
Considering that I used to stand under lampposts in hope, I would have to pick Narnia. And I suppose I would most want to meet Mr. Tumnus (is that spelled right?) and Reepicheep and Puddleglum. Well... and Aslan, certainly. Wow, as unlikely as this is, I'm getting all excited about it. Oh, the why is basically because it is the first fantasy world I really inhabited in my imagination, and it is so... formative, to me. The experiences I've had of Narnia have colored the way I view a lot of things. Sort of in terms of ideas, but even more in terms of atmosphere... every single time I have gone abroad there has been something that related back to Narnia. When I am in tunnels or caves I chant to myself, "Many sink down to the underworld, but few return to the sunlit lands." I had to try Turkish Delight when I finally found it in a candy store. I named my lizard Eustace Clarence Scrubb. My knowledge of mythical creatures is heavily Narnian. I know why the wardrobe worked. And every time I see a real wardrobe, I remember that it would be very foolish to shut myself inside... but I also have to feel the back to make sure. I learned what single combat and treachery are because of their presence in the books. And whenever I imagine a hell I can imagine (as in, not the vengence of an angry God), it is really the non-vision of a circle of hungry dwarves. This is not really a description of what I would do in Narnia so much as a hymn to my love of the stories... but it's hard to say what I would do. Aside from retrace the steps of my friends... I think I would like to see what Father Christmas would give me, if given the chance. And of course I would want to go to Caer Paravel. But mostly I would want a real adventure... with companions and purpose and danger and everything... whatever the Lion would send me! ;)
5. Is there a piece of art/literature/music that you feel draws a gut level response or reaction from you no matter how many times you see it (or read it, or hear it)? What is it and what is the reaction?
I don't know if this is literally every time, but I definitely cried the first several times I heard Leningrad by Billy Joel. Something about the message of universality made through such specific imagery, and maybe the fact that I could concretely connect the historical events he describes in that song to my parents... but it totally hit me, in this very visceral way. I think because it seemed so sad and real the way that we cut ourselves off from each other according to the political/national "enemies" that we are supposed to have... and actually kill for that... but the differences we die for are not as real as the similarities. I'm not sure that says what I want it to say, but the song is really something. I can think of very few songs that have ever made me cry, even ones I care a lot about, or I think are very beautiful. In fact, that might be the only one that actually did, as opposed to just choking me up or something.
I want to say "Six Apologies, Lord," by Olena Kalytiak Davis because I just worked real hard to find it, but I'm not sure it makes quite such a strong impression on me this time around. It's still a really wonderful and fascinating poem, though, so here you go:
I Have Loved My Horrible Self, Lord.
I Rose, Lord, And I Rose, Lord, And I,
Dropt. Your Requirements, Lord. 'Spite Your Requirements, Lord,
I Have Loved The Low Voltage Of The Moon, Lord,
Until There Was No Moon Intensity Left, Lord, No Moon Intensity Left
For You, Lord. I Have Loved The Frivolous, The Fleeting, The Frightful
Clouds. Lord, I Have Loved Clouds! Do Not Forgive Me, Do Not
Forgive Me LordandLover, HarborandMaster, GuardianandBread, Do Not.
Hold Me, Lord, O, Hold Me
Accountable, Lord. I Am
Accountable. Lord.
Lord It Over Me,
Lord It Over Me, Lord. Feed Me
Hope, Lord. Feed Me
Hope, Lord, Or Break My Teeth.
Break My Teeth, Sir,
In This My Mouth.
Well, after reading it over a few times, it seems to still have a strong pull for me, so good. In that vein, the "Batter my heart, three-personed God," sonnet of John Donne's is always impactful. I think I always love the combination of somewhat helpless faith and defiance and submission... in a way. Reminds me of this homily I just heard where the priest compared everyone to sheep or goats. And I was like, um, I'm definitely a goat, but that doesn't mean I don't believe in God... I really didn't care for him.
Mmm, and jumping back to music, the Moonlight Sonata always takes me on a journey through mystery, darkness, and hope... such beautiful, meaningful sounds.
I'm going on and on here, aren't I? But I'm not ready to stop. Let me add: The Winter Prince by Elizabeth Wein, because it is always incredibly beautiful and captivating to me, and in a way that apparently is particular to me, which I think is interesting.
And finally, for visual art... that one in the Philadelphia art museum with the soldiers all photographed rather grotesquely always shocks/fascinates me. Likewise the one where you have to look through a little peephole in the wooden gate. And that picture of the two girls... I never remember the name or anything, but Rachel will...
1. Name one skill or talent you always wish you had developed more fully or pursued. What do you think kept you from following this path?
Well... it's hard to say, really, because there aren't a lot of talents I'm aware of that I haven't pursued at all. I would say singing, since it's been a couple of years since I really sang with any official regularity, though I hope to get back into that again soon. It's funny, because I do notice the lack of singing, but it's something other people point out to me more. Like at Thanksgiving, Skip (my mom's friend's husband) told me he had always imagined me pursuing a musical career, and then my dad asked, "What about your music, your singing?" as we were talking about various developments and pursuits in my life. I think I also wish I had time/space/inclination at the time to have studied more history in college. I still really like history but I feel that my education in it has been completely cut off. I think that in terms of the singing, I was never certain that I loved it enough to pursue it to the exclusion of other activities, and in college it became hard to be as pluralistic as I had been in high school. Now, I am nervous that I will not find a group that I am trained enough for, or that I will have to sight read or do something scary... but mostly I hope that soon I find a good singing group and the time to do it. In terms of history, it was simply a matter of where my coursework led me at the time. One thing I sort of hate about higher education is that you get more and more specialized the higher you go, so in some ways you learn less.
2. [ Alright, this isn't particularly creative, but it's a question I tend to ask people] Would you rather wake up one morning and find yourself deaf or blind? Why?
This is quite difficult, but I think deaf. Simply because I think it would be harder to navigate the world without my vision, and also because I couldn't read without it, and whatever misfortune befell me, I'm sure that reading would help me cope with it. Also, (sorry, this is trite), while God forbid I should ever have to use it exclusively, I have become rather enamored of finger-spelling as of late.
3. You've found yourself suddenly transported to a space ship where you are confronted by a group of aliens who have just decided that Earth must go. You are given the chance to give them, show them, or tell them about 3 things to try to convince them to do otherwise-- what do you choose?
This is the hardest one, and I've saved it for last. So hard, Alex! But a really great question.
1. The most colorful, fragrant, interesting flowers I can find.
2. I would show them a baby, and (assuming this terrible task gives me a certain omniscience) tell them the entire history of the baby's ancestry and all the people who have in some way gone into creating this baby, good and bad and indifferent, and also the complete mystery of the baby's future life.
3. I would tell the story of a war or other horrible event, with all the good and evil wrapped up together like lovers... the terrible acts and the selfless ones... I don't think it would be fair to not be honest, and I would like to think this would in truth be a strong argument to let us continue trying.
4. I know I don't get a fourth, but I really want to sing a song. Maybe I could make one of my stories an opera? Or wrap a lullaby into the baby thing?
Wow, this is making me so nervous. I hope my choices could save the world....
4. You get to spend a week in any fictional place (it can be from any source--tv/movie/books/comics/myths/etc) where do you choose and why? [if you feel so inclined you can get into what you would do there/who you would want to meet and so on)
Considering that I used to stand under lampposts in hope, I would have to pick Narnia. And I suppose I would most want to meet Mr. Tumnus (is that spelled right?) and Reepicheep and Puddleglum. Well... and Aslan, certainly. Wow, as unlikely as this is, I'm getting all excited about it. Oh, the why is basically because it is the first fantasy world I really inhabited in my imagination, and it is so... formative, to me. The experiences I've had of Narnia have colored the way I view a lot of things. Sort of in terms of ideas, but even more in terms of atmosphere... every single time I have gone abroad there has been something that related back to Narnia. When I am in tunnels or caves I chant to myself, "Many sink down to the underworld, but few return to the sunlit lands." I had to try Turkish Delight when I finally found it in a candy store. I named my lizard Eustace Clarence Scrubb. My knowledge of mythical creatures is heavily Narnian. I know why the wardrobe worked. And every time I see a real wardrobe, I remember that it would be very foolish to shut myself inside... but I also have to feel the back to make sure. I learned what single combat and treachery are because of their presence in the books. And whenever I imagine a hell I can imagine (as in, not the vengence of an angry God), it is really the non-vision of a circle of hungry dwarves. This is not really a description of what I would do in Narnia so much as a hymn to my love of the stories... but it's hard to say what I would do. Aside from retrace the steps of my friends... I think I would like to see what Father Christmas would give me, if given the chance. And of course I would want to go to Caer Paravel. But mostly I would want a real adventure... with companions and purpose and danger and everything... whatever the Lion would send me! ;)
5. Is there a piece of art/literature/music that you feel draws a gut level response or reaction from you no matter how many times you see it (or read it, or hear it)? What is it and what is the reaction?
I don't know if this is literally every time, but I definitely cried the first several times I heard Leningrad by Billy Joel. Something about the message of universality made through such specific imagery, and maybe the fact that I could concretely connect the historical events he describes in that song to my parents... but it totally hit me, in this very visceral way. I think because it seemed so sad and real the way that we cut ourselves off from each other according to the political/national "enemies" that we are supposed to have... and actually kill for that... but the differences we die for are not as real as the similarities. I'm not sure that says what I want it to say, but the song is really something. I can think of very few songs that have ever made me cry, even ones I care a lot about, or I think are very beautiful. In fact, that might be the only one that actually did, as opposed to just choking me up or something.
I want to say "Six Apologies, Lord," by Olena Kalytiak Davis because I just worked real hard to find it, but I'm not sure it makes quite such a strong impression on me this time around. It's still a really wonderful and fascinating poem, though, so here you go:
I Have Loved My Horrible Self, Lord.
I Rose, Lord, And I Rose, Lord, And I,
Dropt. Your Requirements, Lord. 'Spite Your Requirements, Lord,
I Have Loved The Low Voltage Of The Moon, Lord,
Until There Was No Moon Intensity Left, Lord, No Moon Intensity Left
For You, Lord. I Have Loved The Frivolous, The Fleeting, The Frightful
Clouds. Lord, I Have Loved Clouds! Do Not Forgive Me, Do Not
Forgive Me LordandLover, HarborandMaster, GuardianandBread, Do Not.
Hold Me, Lord, O, Hold Me
Accountable, Lord. I Am
Accountable. Lord.
Lord It Over Me,
Lord It Over Me, Lord. Feed Me
Hope, Lord. Feed Me
Hope, Lord, Or Break My Teeth.
Break My Teeth, Sir,
In This My Mouth.
Well, after reading it over a few times, it seems to still have a strong pull for me, so good. In that vein, the "Batter my heart, three-personed God," sonnet of John Donne's is always impactful. I think I always love the combination of somewhat helpless faith and defiance and submission... in a way. Reminds me of this homily I just heard where the priest compared everyone to sheep or goats. And I was like, um, I'm definitely a goat, but that doesn't mean I don't believe in God... I really didn't care for him.
Mmm, and jumping back to music, the Moonlight Sonata always takes me on a journey through mystery, darkness, and hope... such beautiful, meaningful sounds.
I'm going on and on here, aren't I? But I'm not ready to stop. Let me add: The Winter Prince by Elizabeth Wein, because it is always incredibly beautiful and captivating to me, and in a way that apparently is particular to me, which I think is interesting.
And finally, for visual art... that one in the Philadelphia art museum with the soldiers all photographed rather grotesquely always shocks/fascinates me. Likewise the one where you have to look through a little peephole in the wooden gate. And that picture of the two girls... I never remember the name or anything, but Rachel will...
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Five Questions From Rachel
All right, here are my answers:
1. If you had to choose one food that you like a lot now but would suddenly dislike, what would it be? Why?
I would pick... um... that's hard, I like foods I like! Maybe I would pick peanut butter so I wouldn't have to sneak it around Julia anymore. ;) Or... onions, because a lot of people don't like onions and therefore don't want onions in their food and it would make things easier when cooking in a group? Actually, maybe I would pick meat. Then I wouldn't have to worry about participating in cruelty to animals, and I'd probably eat healthier. But I would have to worry about getting enough protein. Ok, that's about 25 answers, so let's move on.
2. If you had to pick only one author whom you admire to meet in person, who would it be and why? If you had to pick one author whom you admire that you would be forever unable to meet, who would it be and why?
Only one to meet... Maybe Madeleine L'Engle, because, out of living authors, she's probably influenced my thinking the most, and from the earliest age, and I do truly admire her. Only one to forever be unable to meet... I think Armistead Maupin, not because I don't want to meet him, but because if I really did travel on the bus with him from NYC to Philly without seeing him, I sort of think it would be interesting and ironic if I continued to have near-miss encounters all the time. Also it sounds like something he might write about.
3. What is your strongest sense memory other than sight? If you get really into it, pick a different memory for each sense.
Touch: I remember holding your hand, Rachel, that night at the health center, and the way your bones felt against mine.
Smell: I remember fall smells, the leaves, the crispness of the air, the smell of snow coming. (I know, these are current smells, but I do remember them.)
Sound: I remember the thrill of playing the Phantom of the Opera really, really loudly in middle/early high school. How it echoed in my mind and my pubescing body.
Taste: I remember my Uncle Alan suddenly sticking a pickle in my mouth at this restaurant we went to after seeing Antz. I remember the sour suddenness of the pickle and the feel of his big, brown finger against my lips.
4. If you were placed under a spell that caused you to be turned into a marine animal every full moon, what animal would you pick and why?
I think I would be a walrus, because then I would be big and tough and I could survive out of the water and in the cold and stuff. I don't know if that's really a good choice. It just came to me.
5. If you had to have one sexual partner for the rest of your life, and said partner had one fetish, what fetish would you most want them to have? What fetish would you never put up with? Just answer the latter if the former is too personal for a blog.
Ok, let's assume that this fetish is not exclusive; that is, while they really like it, they do not require it to get off. Said assumption made... the safe answer for number one is a foot fetish, because I love to have my feet rubbed and touched and generally paid attention to. What's the dangerous answer? I wouldn't necessarily be against some power play, as long as it wasn't exclusive, out of control, or used out of the bedroom. Ooh, wait, I have another one. Cross dressing. I would totally be into cross-dressing, by either one of us, for fun or profit. Well, maybe not profit, but you know. Number two... well, there are lots, but let's elimiate illegal/immoral (pedophilia, bestiality) and unsanitary (anything scatological). All right, that being said, I WOULD NOT TOLERATE: all that amputation crap, absolutely not, nor that feeding bullshit. There is my very intolerant attitude about that.
1. If you had to choose one food that you like a lot now but would suddenly dislike, what would it be? Why?
I would pick... um... that's hard, I like foods I like! Maybe I would pick peanut butter so I wouldn't have to sneak it around Julia anymore. ;) Or... onions, because a lot of people don't like onions and therefore don't want onions in their food and it would make things easier when cooking in a group? Actually, maybe I would pick meat. Then I wouldn't have to worry about participating in cruelty to animals, and I'd probably eat healthier. But I would have to worry about getting enough protein. Ok, that's about 25 answers, so let's move on.
2. If you had to pick only one author whom you admire to meet in person, who would it be and why? If you had to pick one author whom you admire that you would be forever unable to meet, who would it be and why?
Only one to meet... Maybe Madeleine L'Engle, because, out of living authors, she's probably influenced my thinking the most, and from the earliest age, and I do truly admire her. Only one to forever be unable to meet... I think Armistead Maupin, not because I don't want to meet him, but because if I really did travel on the bus with him from NYC to Philly without seeing him, I sort of think it would be interesting and ironic if I continued to have near-miss encounters all the time. Also it sounds like something he might write about.
3. What is your strongest sense memory other than sight? If you get really into it, pick a different memory for each sense.
Touch: I remember holding your hand, Rachel, that night at the health center, and the way your bones felt against mine.
Smell: I remember fall smells, the leaves, the crispness of the air, the smell of snow coming. (I know, these are current smells, but I do remember them.)
Sound: I remember the thrill of playing the Phantom of the Opera really, really loudly in middle/early high school. How it echoed in my mind and my pubescing body.
Taste: I remember my Uncle Alan suddenly sticking a pickle in my mouth at this restaurant we went to after seeing Antz. I remember the sour suddenness of the pickle and the feel of his big, brown finger against my lips.
4. If you were placed under a spell that caused you to be turned into a marine animal every full moon, what animal would you pick and why?
I think I would be a walrus, because then I would be big and tough and I could survive out of the water and in the cold and stuff. I don't know if that's really a good choice. It just came to me.
5. If you had to have one sexual partner for the rest of your life, and said partner had one fetish, what fetish would you most want them to have? What fetish would you never put up with? Just answer the latter if the former is too personal for a blog.
Ok, let's assume that this fetish is not exclusive; that is, while they really like it, they do not require it to get off. Said assumption made... the safe answer for number one is a foot fetish, because I love to have my feet rubbed and touched and generally paid attention to. What's the dangerous answer? I wouldn't necessarily be against some power play, as long as it wasn't exclusive, out of control, or used out of the bedroom. Ooh, wait, I have another one. Cross dressing. I would totally be into cross-dressing, by either one of us, for fun or profit. Well, maybe not profit, but you know. Number two... well, there are lots, but let's elimiate illegal/immoral (pedophilia, bestiality) and unsanitary (anything scatological). All right, that being said, I WOULD NOT TOLERATE: all that amputation crap, absolutely not, nor that feeding bullshit. There is my very intolerant attitude about that.
Sorry... I got into it and did it again.... all new people!
Probably just as boring for all non-me people.
| Name 25 random people you know (NO ORDER!) | |
| what is an inside joke with #7?: | An inside joke ABOUT him is that he is the blah blah blah boy in the class. |
| what about #22?: | It's not exactly a joke, but we're going to live on an island somewhere and invent our own language. |
| would you go out with #12?: | If it meant I could see her again, I almost would, though it's never crossed my mind before. |
| whats one word that describes #5: | Eccentric. |
| would #4 look good with #25?: | WOW. wow. Actually... I sorta think so. Even if it might be creepy. |
| would u go out with #19?: | I think that would be awkward. |
| when is #11's birthday?: | I don't remember. I feel like at one point I should have known, but I don't remember at all now. |
| would you make out with #28?: | Sure, though probably the days for that are past. |
| are #3 and #29 BEST friends?: | No! If they ever meet, it will be through the most random permutation of chance and fate that I can possibly fathom. |
| have you ever liked #21?: | Assuming the "like-like" meaning again... no, I have not. |
| have you ever liked #13: | No. |
| have you ever liked #6?: | Not really, though I think everyone else in the world did. And at one point I was flattered by #6's (non-romantic) attention. |
| can you tell #17 anything?: | You know, I haven't talked to him in a long time, but if we were close... I think he's that kind of person. |
| how mucuh do you love #4?: | Only in a nostalgic, I knew her once sense... though I think I might still vote for her for president, if the opportunity arose. |
| how do you know #20?: | From high school. |
| would you make out with #30?: | Probably. He's pretty sexy. |
| how'd you meet #18?: | Again, high school. |
| what word comes to your mind when you hear #23's name?: | Roommate. The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock. |
| have you ever had a crush on #27?: | Absolutely. |
| what about #2?: | No, though I guess I had that sort of non-sexual girl crush where you suddenly have this amazing friend and have to be together always. |
| do you think #10 is hot?: | No, but I think he's adorable. |
| whats one word that describes #15?: | Brilliant. |
| what do you think #9 will be when he/she grows up?: | Either an actor, an artist, or an aimless wanderer. |
| give me one random fact about #16.: | She was the first person I heard say "whoa Nelly," and she said it a lot... but just for one summer. |
| and #8.: | I used to watch him play soccer, and think, "I love you, play for me." |
| and what about #1?: | We went over the falls together in a tub... I think she was probably my best and truest elementary school friend, though I don't know if I knew that at the time. |
| ...and #26?: | He's one of the most eminently lovable creatures in the world, and his magnetism never ceases to amaze me... if I do say so myself. |
| what song does #14 relate to?: | Well, she wrote this wonderful "Trinity" song that I still sing to myself from time to time. We were going to make a band. |
| what movie could #24 be in?: | WOW. Um... maybe A Beautiful Mind, just for the title. Maybe some very complex and old-fashioned comedy? That's tough. |
| what famous person does/should #7 meet?: | Golly-gee, I don't know. Me, when I'm famous, for a poetic ending. But only if he stayed cute. |
| what do you think of #10?: | I think he's one of the sweetest boys I've ever known. I hope he's all right. |
| would you make out with #1?: | I don't think I can answer that about people I haven't seen in more than ten years! |
| what about #17?: | Again, not quite the right sort of question... though I can see him being attractive and tender, all grown up. But it gives me a weird feeling, so maybe not. |
| whats an inside joke with #11?: | The never-ending train... a story we were going to write together. |
| what about #12?: | She was my best friend for many years... why can't I think of one? Sometimes I called her Lionheart, from Winter of Fire. Does that count? |
| and #13?: | The purple flowers joke! The monk joke! All the long jokes! |
| have you ever liked #8?: | Yes, in fact... he was right after #7. |
| what about #20?: | Sort of. I certainly loved his intelligence, and his quirky talent, though I think he kept some of it hidden. |
| would #29 make a good couple with #16?: | No. They might get along, but they might not... certainly no coupling. |
| what about #23 and #5?: | I don't think so, but I was always taken by surprise by who #23 ended up being close to, and #5 likes and knows everyone... so maybe?? |
| whats a random fact about #6?: | I was sort of disappointed that she didn't ask to be my sympathetic junior. |
| what about #21: | We got our first kisses on the same night... and didn't know it for years. |
| and...#18?: | She gave me a stuffed dog for graduation from high school, because I loved hers so much on the chorus trip. |
| how'd you meet #28?: | My friend introduced me, on the internet. |
| have you ever gone out with #9?: | No, but oh how I would have liked to! |
| what about #30?: | No, he's rather overcommited at the moment. |
| ever had a crush on #5?: | Not really, but I can see the attraction. |
| or #25?: | Sort of. Certainly intellectually. |
| has #4 ever liked you?: | Good heavens, I doubt it. |
| what about #19?: | She definitely had a "girl-crush" on me, but I think she's straight. |
| one word about #27.: | Tenacious. |
| do you knwo anyone who likes #24?: | Her husband, I hope. |
| is #3 your friend? why?: | Not anymore. I moved away. |
| where do you see #26 in 20 years?: | About the same place he is now... at least he hopes so, fervently. |
| what about #22?: | I see her pursuing any one of a number of dreams... but always staying true to herself. |
| would you make out with #2?: | No, that's really not a good idea. |
| have you ever made out with #14?: | No, definitely not. |
| what # can you most see youself with?: | It was #15 for a long time, though it's been several years. |
| What # should #11 go out with next?: | I have no idea. #17 for stability, #26 for help, #5 for eccentricity? |
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I Liked This... Even Though You Probably Won't Have a Clue Who I'm Talking About.
Maybe that's why I like it.
| Name 25 random people you know (NO ORDER!) | |
| what is an inside joke with #7?: | Writing center partners... |
| what about #22?: | Falling into the obispo! |
| would you go out with #12?: | No, she has a boyfriend. ;) |
| whats one word that describes #5: | Bouncy. |
| would #4 look good with #25?: | As a couple? No. As a mother and daughter type relationship? Maybe. |
| would u go out with #19?: | No, he has a boyfriend. ;) |
| when is #11's birthday?: | March. Or April. I think March. |
| would you make out with #28?: | I went back and added more, because this was driving me nuts. So yes. |
| are #3 and #29 BEST friends?: | They don't even know each other. |
| have you ever liked #21?: | In a sexual/romantic way? No, but I love her. |
| have you ever liked #13: | Once, I had a dream that she and the person she was dating at the time seduced me in a plane. It was weird, but kinda sexy. Other than that, no. |
| have you ever liked #6?: | In a sense. I certainly love her. |
| can you tell #17 anything?: | I probably could, but I don't. |
| how mucuh do you love #4?: | Very much. Probably my closest old friend. |
| how do you know #20?: | From work. |
| would you make out with #30?: | No. |
| how'd you meet #18?: | At school, because she was friends with #5. |
| what word comes to your mind when you hear #23's name?: | Spain. |
| have you ever had a crush on #27?: | No. |
| what about #2?: | Not really... though I used to wonder, kind of. Probably just a normal product of our conversations. |
| do you think #10 is hot?: | Yes. |
| whats one word that describes #15?: | Mercurial. |
| what do you think #9 will be when he/she grows up?: | An archeologist. |
| give me one random fact about #16.: | He kissed me once, but he might not remember. |
| and #8.: | She has two tattoos. |
| and what about #1?: | When I first met her and she was in drag, she reminded me of #15. |
| ...and #26?: | She gave me one of the nicest compliments I have ever, ever received. |
| what song does #14 relate to?: | Well, because I saw it in something related to her once... "Nothing on Me" by Shawn Colvin. |
| what movie could #24 be in?: | Something sort of bubbly... like a romantic comedy. I want to say "You've Got Mail," which is completely random, because I've never seen it. |
| what famous person does/should #7 meet?: | Um... I think she met Neil Gaiman. |
| what do you think of #10?: | I love the way her mind works in tandem with my own. |
| would you make out with #1?: | I doubt it, but I also think that if I did, it would be fun and not too awkward after. |
| what about #17?: | No, certainly not. Another one with a boyfriend, too. |
| whats an inside joke with #11?: | Oranges! |
| what about #12?: | Eglamore. However that's spelled. |
| and #13?: | My daddy. |
| have you ever liked #8?: | Again, no, but I love her. |
| what about #20?: | No! Really, no. |
| would #29 make a good couple with #16?: | Um... it's completely ridiculous because #29 is married... but they are both into medieval stuff... so in a completely hypothetical world... yeah, maybe. |
| what about #23 and #5?: | I really don't think so. #5 would irritate #23, and #23 would not pay enough attention to #5. |
| whats a random fact about #6?: | We lost our literary virginity on the same book. |
| what about #21: | She always has hand sanitizer when you need it. |
| and...#18?: | Um... I know that #2 gave her a stuffed animal once. |
| how'd you meet #28?: | Through friends at school, mostly #5, #9, and #13. |
| have you ever gone out with #9?: | Nope, but we are fuck buddies. ;) |
| what about #30?: | No. |
| ever had a crush on #5?: | No. |
| or #25?: | No! That's not appropriate. |
| has #4 ever liked you?: | Far as I know, she likes only boys. |
| what about #19?: | Far as I know, he likes only boys. (This is working out symmetrically, huh?) |
| one word about #27.: | Manic. |
| do you knwo anyone who likes #24?: | I hope her husband does. |
| is #3 your friend? why?: | Yes. Shared sense of humor, brilliance, affection, willingness to carry a joke forever... |
| where do you see #26 in 20 years?: | Hopefully not with some completely wrong guy... hopefully doing something that will absorb and reflect all of her wonderful energy, talent, and quirky enthusiasm. |
| what about #22?: | Teaching somewhere with incredible success and brillance, probably with children and an adoring husband. |
| would you make out with #2?: | I might, but then again, it might be weird. |
| have you ever made out with #14?: | No, and I don't see that happening. |
| what # can you most see youself with?: | Honestly? I don't know. #3 is sexy, #2 is perhaps most compatible, #16 is most available and in my normal demographic, #28 is beautiful... but I'm not sure of any of them. |
| What # should #11 go out with next?: | #10. Certainly. |
| Take this survey | Find more surveys You've been totally Bzoink*d | |
What's In a Name?
| Name Association Test | |
| Who/ what do you think of when you hear...? | |
| Jon: | Uncle Alan's partner. Stancato. |
| Nick: | Gambino, from high school, or Carraway (spelling) from The Great Gatsby. |
| Jack: | Sparrow, Frost, Sprat. |
| Amanda: | Rogers, from Star Trek, I think. |
| Emily: | of New Moon. |
| Sarah: | Plain and Tall. |
| Megan: | A friendly girl with short hair, brown or red. |
| Jackson: | Fast, solid, suspicious. |
| Mike: | Abbreviated angel. |
| Justin: | Timberlake. Goddammit, that was my first thought! Also, Justin and Benjamin. |
| Eric: | The Phantom of the Opera. |
| Samantha: | The American Girl doll. |
| Dan: | Ultra-Modern Abstractionist from Haverford. |
| Matt: | Cousin. |
| Fran: | Drescher. Spelling? |
| Claire: | Reyner. |
| Joe: | Joe, Joe, he don't know. Ain't that so, Joe? The Narrator! |
| Ally: | Decker, but I don't think she spells it that way. |
| Kim: | Smith? And there was a Kimmy in that play I wrote in middle school. |
| Vinny: | Vinny Valentino! The pastor's pin-up! Vinny and... Irving! Which sends me back up to Jack! |
| Jesse: | paint your picture, 'bout how it's gonna be... by now I should know better, your dreams are never free. |
| James: | Devron. Mackessy (spelling?) A strong, attractive name. |
| Greg: | There was this odd kid in my religious ed class named Greg... he was one of the problem kids that they kept promoting this one teacher, Mr. Kimball, with our class for. |
| Chris: | Aunt, Arabek (spelling). |
| Jay: | Guss. |
| Nathan: | Someone in the Revolutionary War. Somebody's brother. |
| Brandon: | Too modern. |
| Tiffany: | Way too modern. |
| Ashley: | Stevens? Don't know why. |
| Kevin: | Bacon, Martin. |
| Kyle: | Baker! Our mystery disciplinary problem! |
| Sean: | Madigan. Never really liked him, though he got better as he got older. And his mother, oddly, was a kindred spirit in some ways. |
| Victoria: | Had issues with all people I've known named Victoria... well, all two. |
| Jessica: | The most popular name in elementary school! Rolince, Fikes, Lasda... |
| Andrew: | Andrew and David. |
| Zach: | From Zachariah, my troubled dancer. Which brings us again back to Chris, for Chrissy, and Jack, for Jack Rose. |
| Take this survey | Find more surveys You've been totally Bzoink*d | |
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